What Have I Been Learning Recently?

With only two months left on this long journey—almost nine months away from home—I learned a lesson recently that I have had to learn over and over again throughout the years.

“What does it look like to be faithful to your current situation, Jameson?” my mentor asked me.

As soon as he said that, I knew it was exactly the question I needed.

In Mexico, my team and I stayed at an orphanage, helping teach the kids English and doing many other odd jobs. Now we are in Guatemala, settled into a little house for our last couple of months before heading back to what we would call “home.” Home feels a little strange now, because the more I think about it, the more I realize this little house my team is staying in kind of feels like home too.

Here in Guatemala, we have all been split into different ministries. Some of us are doing prayer and worship for several hours a day, some are helping in kids ministry, and others are doing my favorite—and what I signed up for—evangelism.

I signed up for evangelism because I knew it was one of the areas I struggle with most. We are working with a YWAM (Youth With A Mission) group here in Antigua Guatemala. Along with evangelism, we have also been helping with women’s ministry on Wednesdays and kids ministry on Thursdays. Every day brings a different kind of ministry.

During our first week here, as we were getting the feel of things, I had a lot of time to think. Our schedule has been packed, and if I am honest, that has sometimes been frustrating. I found myself reflecting on what exactly we were doing for these kids and whether we were truly making an impact. The more I thought about it throughout the week, the more frustrated I became, and the less engaged I was.

I realized something about myself while writing in my journal one day: I was struggling because I care deeply about long-term impact. If you know me, you probably know I love talking about things that matter, things that last, and ways to create meaningful change. Because of that, I started thinking things like, These kids will forget us as soon as we leave, or What we are doing is not really lasting.

I began imagining all the ways I would try to create deeper, more lasting change. I thought about how real transformation often comes through deeper relationships, consistency, and sometimes discomfort, like when kids go to camp and are taken out of their normal environment. On top of that, I kept thinking about how hard it is to connect deeply when the kids are six years old and we do not even speak the same language.

One day after getting off the chicken bus, I shared all of these frustrations with a ministry partner before walking in to toss kids in the air and play with them for the next hour. I was trying to smile, but in my mind I was stuck on one thought: This is all going to end soon, so what is the point?

Later that day, we got back to our cozy little home, and I was sitting on my bed trying to relax when my mentor reminded me about a call we had scheduled a couple of weeks before. During that call, he asked me, “Jameson, what does it look like to be faithful to where you are now?”

That question rocked me.

I had become so focused on whether the impact would last that I forgot something important: it is not ultimately up to me to create lasting change. That part belongs to God. My job is not to change lives in my own strength. My job is to be faithful.

After that call, I was disappointed in myself for how quickly my mind had drifted. To be honest, I know my frustration was probably amplified by how busy we have been and how little rest I have had since arriving here. But I also realized that I had been focusing on the wrong thing, and because of that, I had started disengaging from what was right in front of me.

We all have a choice in how we show up, and I had not been showing up well.

Because I did not see the point, I made something that could have been joyful and meaningful feel miserable. I let my obsession with outcomes rob me of faithfulness in the present.

And I think that is something many of us do.

We grumble and complain when things are not going the way we want, even when those outcomes were never fully ours to control in the first place. Sometimes we need to be reminded to remain faithful to the place we are in. That means not constantly looking ahead to the end goal, but learning to receive the process. It means not clinging so tightly to a desired outcome that we miss what God is doing right now. It means accepting where we are, and choosing to show up fully there.

I forget this all the time.

When I get stuck in the mundane, or when I lose sight of why I am doing what I have chosen to do, I look to a lot of different things to remind me, but one of them is beauty.

Lately, I am learning that faithfulness is not always dramatic. Sometimes it looks like showing up with joy when you do not see the full impact. Sometimes it looks like trusting that God is doing something deeper than what you can measure. I still want to make a lasting difference, but I am learning that my job is not to control the outcome. My job is to be present, obedient, and faithful where I am.

As I finish these last couple months of this journey, I am still trusting God to provide for the remaining needs ahead. Right now, I still need $6,500 to fully cover the rest of this season.

If you have been following along, praying for me, encouraging me, or supporting me in any way, thank you so much. It truly means more than I can say.

If you feel led to give financially and help me finish this journey strong, I would be incredibly grateful for your support. More than anything, I would also appreciate your prayers for endurance, faithfulness, and for God to keep working through this season.

Thank you for being part of this journey with me.